Am I that single woman who needs to repopulate the world after a zombie apocalypse?

So last night I met Shrek.

A tanned Shrek mind you. He had just returned from a holiday in Spain with the ‘lads’.

I mean I understand people want to get the ears pinned back but having just the pixy tip of the ear pinned but leaving the middle and droopy bottom lobe is surely not correct. Maybe he should go on Botched or a Katie Piper documentary? Definitely should consider suing, that is for sure.

After my initial shock, in which I literary had to stop myself from saying ‘oh fuck’ out loud to his face, we sat and began the “date” part. Maybe his charm and wit will blow me away and I will soon have an ear fetish? It has happened to me in the past when I dated a ginger. I am talking a true deep orange ginger with matching carpet. That was another hold the ‘oh fuck’ moment, or the romance of the first sexy time would be well and truly ruined, forever.

So the conversation began, friendly start with a few jokes fluttering here and there. The banter continued building steadily. Maybe abnormal ears are the new thing? Maybe, just maybe. Then the hyena laugh took off, and continued, still going and getting loud. And we stopped, following up with a mildly racist remark. Interesting. I must have misheard. Surely.

Oh and then another. Oh no. No! Really? Oh come on.

‘I have these reports to do for work that need to get done and handed in first things, I must head home and crack on with the reports, that are needed first thing. Reports. First thing. Leaving.’ I say repeatedly as I scramble my things together away for tanned racist Shrek lookalike.

Home to my flat-mate with a +Pizza Hut, a 4-pack of beer and a bag of giant chocolate buttons.

‘How did it go?’ Super hot yet single flat-mate.

‘Tanned racist Shrek lookalike.’ Me.

‘Delightful.’ Intrigued super hot yet single flat-mate.

‘Beer?’ A defeated me.

I drank my beer. I ate my pizza. And began to feel the wave of deeply-single-woman-forever fever.

If this was to happen though, alone in my 40’s would this be a bad thing? I mean yes there would be lonely times I am sure, but surely that’s one reason social media was invented! But why is it that it is unacceptable for a woman to be alone but completely fine for a single older bachelor?

As a career driven woman, many of my relationship have end or barely started due to my job and my past times. It seems that men may love the sound of an independent career women but when they start actually dating one and she is not hanging on to every word and able to drop everything at a moments notice, this poses a big no no. Roles reversed and this would be a completely normal situation with no issues.

On the opposite scale I have friends who have been married to their child sweethearts and work in a mindless 9-5 job and have no job satisfaction, but don’t seem to mind this because they just want to be married. Well maybe I just want job satisfaction. Maybe I just want to achieve my dreams. Maybe I want to work, travel, socialize and not worry that I may not be home in time to have the dinner on the table and his shirts ironed by 7pm. Maybe this is acceptable, and maybe society and the older generation (my mother) are wrong. Maybe, there are too many maybes in this blog?

Would my life be over, ruined, wasted and unsatisfied if I choose myself over marriage and babies? I mean if there was a zombie apocalypse and I was the only female survivor I would of course happily knock out a few babies to repopulate the world. But lets face it that’s not going to happen, and if it does James Cordon would be on hand to deal with zombie attacks.

Though, I am sat in a crowded Harris & Hooles surrounded by yummy mummies and babies coming out of my ears, so not the best time to make life changing breeding discussions. I think this maybe a little food for thought. I say that whilst sipping a soy cappuccino as the baby on the opposite table vomits down its mother’s top, and the smell of well soiled nappy coming from behind me hits an all time high. More than enough thought for me, today at least.

Am I that single woman who needs to repopulate the world after a zombie apocalypse?